Never the Twain
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the ent...
Never the Twain
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane. It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles. The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.
Never the Twain
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the ent...
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Episodes
Episode 1: Families At War
The feuding fathers find out about the relationship between their son and daughter and consider taki...
Episode 2: Of Meissen Men
Veronica appears on the scene - causing Simon and Oliver to compete for more than antiquities.
Episode 3: A Night At The Opera
Veronica wants to go to the opera in Edinburgh. Simon and Oliver each compete to be her date. Simon...
Episode 4: A Matched Pair
Oliver's antiques shop is burgled. A pair of pistols is reported missing, but when these mysteriousl...
Episode 5: Nothing But The Truth
Oliver beats Simon to a painting they both want. But is it a Constable or not? David confesses propo...
Episode 6: Father Of The Groom
Simon holds a dinner for Oliver, Lyn and David, his ulterior motive being to expose Oliver's lack of...
Episode 1: Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed ?
Simon nominates Oliver for membership of his golf club. Oliver holds a function for the committee me...
Episode 2: As Young As You Feel
Simon and Oliver seek to win Veronica's affections. Oliver reaches the age of 50. Lyn is concerned a...
Episode 3: A Woman's Place ...
David and Lyn quarrel about her taking a full-time job. Oliver seeks a new cleaner. Simon is losing...
Episode 4: Blood Brothers
Simon needs a blood transfusion, but he has a rare blood type. Oliver has the same blood type and ag...
Episode 5: lf You Knew Susan
Simon's sister visits him and Oliver immediately falls for her. Simon and Oliver each purchase one o...
Episode 6: The More We Are Together
Oliver and Simon each separately consider reforming their partnership due to the poor state of their...
Episode 1: Taking Stock
Oliver and Simon have re-entered their partnership. They decide to do a stocktake. Oliver meets up w...
Episode 2: Partners
Simon receives an offer for his shop. Oliver thinks that Ringo has won the pools and breaks his part...
Episode 3: A Nose For Quality
Both Simon and Oliver believe that they have appointments to meet Lady Deveraux with a view to purch...
Episode 4: The End Of The Line
Oliver and Simon discuss the issue of grandchildren. David claims to have had a vasectomy. Oliver an...
Episode 5: The Welsh Connection
Simon and Oliver go on a health kick. An auction in Wales causes disagreement between the two men.
Episode 6: Not On The Same Wavelength
Simon and Oliver are invited as guests onto a radio show. The two men become convinced that Lyn is p...
Episode 1: A Home of Your Own
David and Lyn have moved to Canada. Simon needs to find someone to rent his flat quickly before his...
Episode 2: The Royal Connection
Oliver attempts to gain the Royal Warrant for his shop from the Prince of Wales. Simon investigates...
Episode 3: Words and Music
Oliver and Simon volunteer to perform at a Vet Circle luncheon for Caroline.
Episode 4: No Flame Like An Old Flame
Simon's life becomes complicated when an old sweetheart pays him an unexpected visit.
Episode 5: Love's Neighbours' Lost
Oliver and Simon duel over a woman, Caroline. But they find that there is another man vying for her...
Episode 6: Come Fly With Me
Episode 1: In Whom We Tryst
Peel and Smallbridge become attracted to the same shop assistant.
Episode 2: Going, Going, Gone!
Peel and Smallbridge have to share a room in a country pub.
Episode 3: Thicker Than Water
Simon reveals that he was left at an orphanage as a baby.
Episode 4: Kung Who ?
Episode 5: Reading Between The Lines
Episode 6: Definitely Not Cricket!
Episode 1: Feed A Cold
Episode 2: Going To Pot
Episode 3: Love ls A Many Splendoured Thing
Episode 4: A Night To Remember
Episode 5: The Battle Of Deveraux Dale
Episode 6: Affair of the Heart
Episode 1: Settled Out of Court
Episode 2: The Wagers Of Sin
Episode 3: Betrothed, Bothered And Bewildered
Episode 4: The Second Time Around
Episode 5: Born To Blush Unseen
Episode 6: Fasten Your Seat Belts
Episode 1: Grandfathers-In-Law
Episode 2: Nursery Times
Episode 3: Whose Baby ?
Episode 4: Never Say Die
Episode 5: Moving On
Episode 6: It's A Long Way To Friern Barnet
Episode 1: Just The Ticket
Episode 2: A Question Of Honour
Episode 3: A New Lease Of Life
Episode 4: Aspects Of Love
Episode 5: Neighbours
Simon holds a meeting of the Residents' Association. There is a new resident who is about to move in...
Episode 6: Bonjour Paris
Episode 7: A Winter's Tale
Episode 1: X Marks The Spot
Episode 2: S.W.A.L.K.
Episode 3: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Episode 4: Happy Holiday
Episode 5: There But For The Grace Of God
Episode 6: A Car By Any Other Name
Episode 1: Viva Espana
Episode 2: The Best Laid Plans
Episode 3: Born Again
Episode 4: There Goes The Bride
Episode 5: Two Fools And Their Money
Episode 6: The First Of The Queue
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